


Watched

by angstytimelord



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Dubious Consent, M/M, Prison Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-21 04:42:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2455124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstytimelord/pseuds/angstytimelord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Will knows that he's always being watched. By Matthew, by Chilton, by other eyes that he's not aware of. But at this point, he's beyond caring.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Watching You

"I've been watching you, Mr. Graham."

Will raised his head, his eyes searching the darkness. He knew that voice; he'd heard it often enough, but never when he was alone in the dark, in the dead of night.

He couldn't sleep, of course. So he was lying here, feeling more alone than he ever had been, when the voice came out of the darkness, close to the bars of his cell.

"I watch you all the time, Mr. Graham. You know that. You can feel my eyes on you. Did you know that I think about what you'd look like naked, Mr. Graham? Did you know that I fantasize about peeling that ugly orange jumpsuit off your body and seeing you in your natural state?"

Matthew Brown. His jailer. Well, one of them, at least. One of Chilton's minions, though Will couldn't help thinking that this guy had as much contempt for Chilton as he himself did.

What was he saying? Will blinked, running a hand through his hair, then rubbing his eyes. He had been half-asleep; he wasn't sure that he'd heard the words correctly.

Those words kept coming out of the darkness, the voice low and husky.

"I've wanted you ever since I first saw you, Will. Can I call you Will? I think you and I are going to get to know each other really well, so I should call you by your first name."

Will swallowed hard, his eyes straining to see in the darkness. He could sense Matthew's presence, but he couldn't see the other man. Not yet. His eyes still weren't accustomed to the dark; it would take a few more moments before he could make out anything in the stygian blackness.

The voice went on relentlessly, sinking into his consciousness. "What would you say if I came into your cell right now and undressed you, Will? Would you want that?"

Will didn't know what to say. A part of him wanted to nod, to acquiesce.

Why was that voice so seductive? Why did he feel that if Matthew _did_ unlock his cell and come inside, that he would be welcomed with open arms?

Was he so desperate for some kind of human touch, human contact, to feel as though he was appreciated and wanted? Did he need someone that badly, even a man who he barely knew, a man who he thought could be, in his own way, just as psychopathic as Hannibal?

That didn't really matter, not now. Not when he needed someone by his side, someone who would help him and believe in him. He was sure that Matthew was that person.

He knew that Matthew admired what he thought were Will's crimes. He knew that this man was dangerous. But at the same time, something about him was .... _desirable_.

Maybe that was just his own weakness, Will told himself. Maybe he was wrong to feel this way, to feel that he needed someone to validate his existence. But he was so lonely, and so cold, and so depressed. Human contact, even from the wrong person, was something he craved with all of his soul.

He couldn't go on like this. It would drive him insane -- and then he would truly belong here. If reaching out to Matthew meant holding on to his sanity, then he had to do it.

Slowly, he nodded, his voice coming out as more of a croak. "Y-yes."

There. He'd said it. He had admitted to Matthew that he wanted his touch, his attention. What had he let himself in for? What was going to happen next?

Will held his breath in anticipation of Matthew's next words. When they came, he didn't know if he was disappointed or relieved. "I can't do anything tonight, Will. It's not the right time. We could be seen, even if we're not heard. But tomorrow night .... tomorrow night, things will change."

Will's breath caught in his throat. Change? What did Matthew mean? Could he have a way to block the cameras and the sound, so that Chilton wouldn't know what was going on?

That had to be what he meant. The idea was .... exciting.

Exciting, yes. Thrilling. But disturbing at the same time, to know that Matthew would be free to have his way with him, and that he wouldn't be caught at it.

Would he let Matthew have his way? Would he protest? Will didn't know what he'd do once he was faced with the stark reality of what he'd just set in motion.

He had never been with a man before. He'd never been with _anyone_ before. And he didn't think that he wanted his first time to be here, in a cell in a psychiatric prison, on a tiny cold mattress with a person he barely knew, but who seemed to the only one he could reach out for.

What was he doing? Was he truly losing his mind to even begin to contemplate this? Or was he finally taking control of his life, reaching out for what he wanted?

He wasn't really sure one way or the other. But he had another day to think about it before anything would happen, and he could always change his mind and tell Matthew so.

Though he had the definite feeling that wasn't going to happen.

As unnerved as he was by the thought of losing his virginity here, to a man he didn't really know, the idea of being able to give himself away here, in this place, was something for him to hold on to.

if he could do that, then he still had some control over his life, over what happened to him. He could still make choices, even if they weren't the best ones he could make for himself.

Hannibal Lecter and Frederick Chilton didn't control him. They couldn't dictate everything that he did. They might have him incarcerated here, and he might be a prisoner, but he wasn't helpless. He could still assert himself, still defy them. And this seemed to be the best defiance he could throw at them.

Eventually, they would probably find out what he and Matthew were doing. But at this point, Will didn't care. He just wanted that human touch, that contact with another person.

He could feel Matthew slip away from the bars, hear his quiet footsteps across the concrete floor. And long after the other man left, he could still hear his last whispered words.

"Tomorrow night, Will. Remember, I'm watching you."


	2. Giving In To Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will knows this is madness, but as torn as he is about what he's doing, he can't turn away from the lure of danger.

What was he thinking? This was madness.

If Matthew came to him tonight, they'd be discovered. Maybe not tonight, but at some point, Chilton would know what was happening. Matthew couldn't hide what he was doing forever.

Will wanted Matthew to come to him, but he knew that his was horribly dangerous for both of them. Especially for the man who would be his lover.

Matthew could end up getting fired. Not only that, but he could be taken to court and prosecuted. There was no telling what Chilton would try to do to _him_ , but at the moment, he wasn't thinking about that. The risks seemed to be mostly on Matthew's side of the fence.

But this could get him into hot water, too. Would he be put in solitary confinement, even more than he was now, if it was discovered that he had a lover?

Maybe he and Matthew wouldn't become lovers tonight. Maybe Matthew would just undress him and look at him. It might be no more than that. There might not be any physical contact between them.

Will almost wanted to snort aloud at that thought. Who was he trying to kid?

Of course there would be physical contact, because it was what they both wanted. Neither of them intended to just look. They would touch -- amongst other things.

WIll was sure that he would lose his virginity tonight -- and a part of him wanted that to happen. Another part of him was terrified by the thought, cringing away from it.

There was no sense in being afraid of what could happen, he told himself firmly, trying to bolster his courage. He had told Matthew that he wanted this, and he did. He couldn't just back out now and say that he'd changed his mind. That was the action of a coward.

Besides, Matthew might not accept that answer even if he gave it. He had the power here; he could very well force Will into doing whatever he wanted to do.

Will sighed softly, running one hand through his hair. He didn't think that would happen. Matthew might want him, but not enough to risk his job by attempting to force him.

No, there would be no force used. Will was sure of that.

His breath caught in his throat as he heard quiet footsteps on the concrete floor; that had to be Matthew, heading this way. He was going to turn off the cameras, unlock the cell.

Will hoped that he'd also turn off the microphones that Chilton seemed to have everywhere; it wouldn't be enough that they couldn't be seen. They couldn't be heard, either.

If they _were_ heard, then it wouldn't matter whether or not they'd been seen -- Chilton's prurient mind would come up with all the images he needed. They would probably be even more decadent than anything he and Matthew could do together, Will thought with a grimace.

He didn't want to get caught, but at the same time, a part of him wanted to throw caution to the winds and take risks, to abandon himself to the moment and whatever came of it.

The click of a key in a lock. Then footsteps coming closer, approaching the bars of his cell. Will knew that within a few moments, Matthew would be in this cell with him.

Then what would happen? Would there be words, gestures, directions? Or would Matthew simply take charge and start removing the orange jumpsuit that Will had grown to hate? Would he speak softly, whispering words that Will wanted to hear, or would it be strictly business?

Would anything happen between them after he was naked? Would Matthew be naked too? It struck him suddenly that he hadn't asked the other man about that.

He had no idea what Matthew's intentions were for tonight. He didn't know what was going to happen, and he wasn't sure if that made this entire situation more stimulating, or more frightening.

He had no control over the situation, and that terrified him.

Will could sense Matthew's presence, see the shadow of the other man beside the door of his cell. In just a moment, the key would be in the lock, and the door would be open.

Did Matthew think that he'd make a break for it, try to overpower him and make his way out of this prison? Will knew better than that. He'd never make it out.

There were too many guards in other places. Even if he could get out of this cell without the customary chains to keep him captive, he'd never make it to the outside world. And if he did, what would he do then? He'd be a wanted man, a fugitive. There would be no safety for him, no sanctuary.

Like ir or not, this was his life, at least for now. And taking what Matthew offered him, the human contact that he so desperately needed, was all he could reach for.

Will took a deep breath as the door to his cell was pulled open and Matthew stepped inside, then turned to lock the door again. There would be no chance of escaping.

But he didn't really _want_ to escape. Not at the moment.

Matthew was standing face to face with him now, regarding him with those eyes that had drawn Will in the first time he'd seen this man. He couldn't turn around, couldn't look away.

Those eyes were so calm .... and yet, there was something in their depths that told Will there was a fire underneath that calm exterior, ready to break free, to burn high and hot.

"Are you ready for this, Will?" Matthew asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "Because I am. I'm more than ready. I've thought about this and how it would play out since the first time I saw you and I knew that I wanted you. There's a lot of scenarios, Will. But only one of them is going to happen."

Will nodded, slowly, both in answer to Matthew's question, and to acknowledge his statement. Yes, there was only one way this would play out. And yes, he _was_ ready.

He ruthlessly pushed down that part of him that wanted to scream and run away, to tell the man standing in front of him that he couldn't do this, that it wasn't what he wanted.

This was madness. Of course it was. But he couldn't turn back.

He didn't _want_ to turn back. He wanted this touch, needed to feel those hands on his body. He hadn't been able to think of anything else for the past twenty-four hour.

He'd be a fool not to take what Matthew was offering. It didn't matter that it was forbidden, that it could be dangerous for both of them. That danger only made what they would do all the more appealing.

Would they show affection for each other? Would Matthew hold him once he was naked, kiss him, murmur words of passion into his ear? What was going to happen? Will could imagine all kinds of possibilities, but he had no idea if any of them were even close to what would actually happen.

He was trembling; he couldn't stop it. His body was reacting in a way that he hadn't expected; he wanted to run away, and yet he wanted to move towards Matthew at the same time.

Yes, he was giving in to madness. But somehow, this madness felt like the right thing to do, to immerse himself in it until the rest of the world fell away and disappeared.

Closing his eyes, he let his hands fall to his sides, surrendering himself to whatever was to come.


	3. Furtive Tryst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will already knows that he wants more from from Matthew than just touching.

"Turn around and face the bars, Will."

Matthew's voice was very soft, but his words were firm; they weren't a request, but a command, and for some strange reason, Will felt compelled to obey them.

He did as Matthew told him, turning around and facing the bars of his cell, then leaning forward and reaching out to grab them. He was sure that he would need to hold on to something.

Behind him, Matthew stepped closer, and closer still, until Will could feel the heat of his body. Matthew was close enough to touch him, but he hadn't done so yet. Will could feel his muscles tightening, his skin tingling with anticipation, his breath coming faster.

When the touch did come, it was on his cheek, slightly calloused fingers ghosting over his skin in a touch as light as a breeze, making him shiver and ache for more contact.

Will could feel warm breath on the back of his neck; Matthew was standing close behind him now, their bodies almost touching, so close yet still too far away.

He _needed_ Matthew's touch. Craved it with all of his soul.

Those long fingers trailed a path down his throat, then forward, to the zipper of the orange prison jumpsuit that was his constant attire. Will could feel his breath catch in his throat.

Matthew's fingers gripped the zipper, slowly starting to ease it down. Will closed his eyes, his hands tightening on the bars, catching his lower lip between his teeth. The zipper moved down agonizingly slowly; he wanted to grab it and force it forward, until it was all the way down.

But he didn't do that; he let Matthew ease the zipper slowly on its downward trek, wondering why the other man wanted to be behind him, rather than seeing his flesh as it was revealed.

As long as Matthew was undressing him, he wasn't going to argue.

All he wanted at this point was to be out of his clothes, his body exposed to Matthew's touch. He wanted those hands on his skin, touching him everywhere.

When the zipper reached the bottom, Matthew's hand moved back up Will's body, slowly, moving up one arm to rest on his shoulder before pulling Will back slightly. "Let go of the bars, Will," he whispered, his voice soft in Will's ear. "You've got to let the fabric slide off your shoulders."

Will nodded, swallowing hard and doing as Matthew said. He could feel the jumpsuit slide down his arms, pooling at his feet so that he could step out of it.

That was one good thing about the ugly uniforms that the prisoners here were forced to wear, he told himself. They came off quickly and easily when it was needed. He shivered as the cold air hit his nearly bare skin; standing here in only his underwear was colder than he'd realized it would be.

He'd always been more comfortable in boxers, but the prison forced its inmates to wear briefs. Will felt just as exposed in them as he would have if he'd been stark naked.

Matthew's hands moved down his sides, stopping at his waist.

Matthew was pressed against him from behind now; Will knew that the other man was still fully clothed, and he couldn't help but wonder if he would undress, too.

Somehow, he doubted it. He was sure that Matthew wanted to feel him, to touch his body, not to join the two of them together. That was for a later time; he'd have to wait for it.

At this point, he wasn't sure that was even what he wanted. But what he _did_ want was to be touched; he craved the feeling of Matthew's hands on his body, and he almost moaned aloud with his need. But he managed to hold the sound back, and to stay absolutely still.

Matthew's fingers hooked into the elastic of Will's briefs, pulling them down in one swift motion. Without being told, Will stepped out of them as well, leaving himself completely naked and exposed.

He was trembling now; he didn't know whether it was with need, or with desire, or a combination of both. He just knew that if Matthew didn't touch him, he would go insane.

Slowly, Matthew's hand began to move back up Will's body, until his fingers tweaked one nipple gently. It was only then that Will let out the moan he'd been holding back, unable to be silent any longer. It felt as though that touch was going directly to his cock.

"You need this, don't you?" Matthew whispered, his other hand moving to Will's hip and stroking downward. "You need to be touched, don't you, Will? You need the intimacy."

Will couldn't bring himself to speak; he was sure that if he did, he would only moan out his need again, even more loudly this time. He contented himself with a nod of confirmation.

He could feel Matthew's satisfied smile; he didn't need to see it.

Will gasped aloud when those long, calloused fingers wrapped around his cock and began to stroke him; he had known it would feel good, but he hadn't expected such pleasure.

No one else had ever touched him in this way before. No one had ever been this intimate with him; no one had even seen him naked, other than impersonal doctors. This was a completely new experience for him in every way, both in the emotional sense as well as the physical.

He had to remind himself that he and Matthew had no softer feelings for each other. This was strictly physical -- wasn't it? He was beginning to wonder if the lines would grow blurred.

For him, they already were; he wanted more of Matthew than just being touched. Was he starting to look at this man as a lover, even though they hardly knew each other? Was the loneliness and isolation of this place getting to him that much, that he would throw himself into anyone's arms?

Will didn't want to think that he was so needy, but apparently he was -- and at the moment, he was going to give himself over to that need.

He had no choice, really, not with the way that Matthew was touching him.

That stroking hand had him gasping and writhing within moments, clutching the bars in front of him so tightly that his knuckles were white with the strain.

Matthew's other hand had moved to Will's buttocks, fingers stroking up and down the cleft. Will wanted to spread his legs and push his ass back against that stroking hand, but somehow, he forced himself to be still, to not give in to the need he had for _more_.

He would get more, eventually; a part of him knew that, and reveled in it. But he would have to be patient, and even though that wouldn't be easy, he'd manage to do it.

The hand on his cock stilled for a moment, then tightened, a finger teasing the tip.

Will couldn't hold himself back any longer; he let himself go with a soft cry, one that he couldn't have held back if his life had depended on it, a cry that came from his soul.

He wanted to fall backwards into Matthew's arms, but he had his doubts as to whether the other man would catch him or not. He didn't want to put that to the test.

Instead, he leaned forward, clinging to the bars, closing his eyes and breathing hard. He could feel Matthew stepping back from him; he was surprised to feel warm breath on his shoulder a moment later. He turned his head to see Matthew close beside him, a small smile on his lips.

"That was nice, Will," Matthew murmured, bowing his head to brush his lips against Will's bare shoulder. "Really nice. The next time should be even better, because you'll be more relaxed."

"N-next time?" Will couldn't keep the hope out of his tone; he wanted more than anything for there to be a next time, for this to turn into something more than mere touching.

Matthew nodded, his smile widening. "Of course there'll be a next time."

With those words, he slowly opened the door of the cell, slipping through the small space he allowed himself and then locking it behind him, never taking his eyes from Will.

Will slowly straightened up, keeping his own gaze on Matthew's face. He wanted the other man to look at his nude body; he wanted to see Matthew's desire for him in those dark eyes, wanted the assurance that Matthew would indeed come back for more, and that they would grow closer.

He wasn't disappointed; he could see desire flare in Matthew's eyes before the other man turned away to make his way out of the cell block before turning back to let his eyes sweep over Will's body.

"I can't wait for next time," he whispered, then he was gone.

Will bent slowly to pick up his briefs, putting them back on and then reluctantly pulling on the orange jumpsuit, zipping up the front before going to lie down.

His body was still tingling from Matthew's touch, and he knew that it would be for a while. And now, he was counting the hours until they could have another furtive tryst.


	4. For All the World To See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having to wait so long for another sensual encounter with Matthew is the most cruel and unusual punishment that Will can imagine.

This was what Will considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Having to see Matthew every day, to see the other man smiling at him and know how Matthew had been touching him just a few days ago -- it was driving him insane.

He _needed_ to feel that touch again. No, not just that touch. He needed more than touching the next time their bodies met furtively in the darkness.

He wanted to feel Matthew inside him. He wanted Matthew to take him -- to give him something to remember, something to think about, something to look forward to the next time, and the time after that. He needed for Matthew to give him some kind of hope in this hopeless place.

Matthew gave him a reason to live, to get through each long, lonely day. But at this point, he was becoming frustrated, and he was sure that Matthew felt the same.

They hadn't been able to meet furtively again; Chilton had been spending far too much time here, and he was cracking down on security.

Will's need for Matthew was starting to assume mammoth proportions.

All he could think about was Matthew's hands on his skin, how it would feel to be kissed, to be touched, to be taken. He thought about it, dreamed about it.

Keeping him waiting like this was a horrible punishment for something he hadn't done, and he was sure that Matthew knew it. But he couldn't let himself blame Matthew for being cautious, Will told himself. He didn't want them to be caught; if they were, then that would be the end.

He wanted to believe that Matthew was just as frustrated as he was, that those looks of desire the other man gave him when he escorted Will from his cell to therapy weren't just meant to be a tease.

No, Matthew wasn't just teasing him; he wanted them to consummate what they'd begun as badly as Will did. But they had to be careful; they had to keep themselves hidden in darkness.

That in itself was horribly frustrating. He wanted to be able to see Matthew in the light, for them to take their time with each other and enjoy what they would do to the fullest extent. He didn't want their first coupling to be done furtively; he wanted more than the two of them scrambling in the dark.

But he would have to settle for what he could get if he wanted Matthew, and he knew it. He was willing to do that, if it meant that he could have the fulfillment he craved.

How much longer would he have to wait?

This waiting was the cruelest punishment that could ever have been inflicted on him. Every day, his longing grew -- and so did his unwavering _need_.

All he wanted was to have Matthew's hands on him, to feel the other man's mouth on his, the warmth of his body, to know that he was _wanted_ \-- and maybe even needed.

Will tried to tell himself that Matthew wasn't trying to punish him; he was merely being careful, trying to find the right time for them to be together, when they would have more time than only a few stolen moments. He would find a way. Will was sure of that, but it was taking so much _time_.

Was Matthew suffering just as he was? He couldn't help but think so; those smoldering looks that passed between the two of them were proof of how Matthew felt.

He didn't know how much longer he could take this. If he didn't have Matthew _soon_ , he was going to break out of this enforced silence and do something that he might very well regret.

This waiting was more punishment than he could endure.

Every time he caught Matthew's eye, he had the feeling that the other man felt the same way, and he hoped that they'd soon find a way to spend more time together.

Because if they didn't, he was going to end up doing something that might bring their secret out into the open for all the world to see.


	5. Worth Any Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is sure that he'll pay any price to consummate his furtive relationship with Matthew.

"I'll see you tonight, Will."

Will's heart leaped in his chest at Matthew's words, whispered so softly when the other man had locked the door of his cell, words meant only for his ears.

No one else had heard them, he was sure. Even Chilton's spying devices couldn't have picked them up; they had been too softly spoken, in such a low voice.

A voice that was soft and sensual, meant only for him. Will had come to crave hearing that voice, knowing that it wasn't meant for anyone's hearing but his. It was a voice that filled his dreams, a voice that he wanted to hear next to his ear when he was in bed with the man who owned it.

Not that there was a bed here, he thought, scowling as he looked around his cell. This couldn't be called a "bed." It was a slab designed for maximum discomfort.

It amazed him that he could sleep here. But somehow, he did -- even though it was never for very long. And when he did sleep, his dreams were full of Matthew.

Being with him was worth any price Will might have to pay.

It would be a heavy price if Chilton caught the two of them, he knew. Matthew would be fired, perhaps prosecuted, and Will would more than likely never see him again.

He swallowed hard at that thought, knowing that it could be a truth that he would have to face if either of them let their guard down for even a fraction of a moment.

If Chilton thought that there was something going on between them, Will didn't doubt that he would prosecute Matthew to the full extent of the law -- and that he himself would suffer for their indiscretion, too. Chilton wasn't the kind of person who would take something like this lightly.

Matthew could even be sent to prison -- but he wouldn't be here, that was for sure. Chilton would take great pleasure in keeping the two of them apart.

He'd know that he was making Will suffer, and that would be his greatest joy, Will thought sourly. Chilton would love to make his life even more of a living hell than it already was.

Taking Matthew away from here would kill him, Will told himself. He couldn't live without those surreptitious words, the knowledge that Matthew was here and watching him, the surety that they would have another physical encounter. The anticipation of that meeting was keeping him alive.

All that kept him going was waiting to hear Matthew's voice, waiting for the other man to tell him that something would happen. It was why he got up in the mornings, why he kept breathing.

He wasn't going to risk having that taken away from him. He would be as careful and as discreet as he possibly could, not letting anything of that secret life slip out.

Five minutes with Matthew was worth any price he could imagine paying.

Well, not really. He wanted more than five minutes; he wanted five _hours_ with Matthew's hands and lips on his body, doing unmentionable things to him.

He wanted entire days and nights in bed with Matthew, away from this place, out of sight of any prying eyes and ears that could rip his idyllic fantasy to shreds in seconds.

He didn't want the hope of getting out of here and being with Matthew to be ripped away. He kept thinking of the day when he would walk out of the BSHCI a free man, and he could walk into Matthew's arms and be with him outside of the confines that he was currently trapped in.

Did Matthew think of that day, too? Did he also long for the time when they could be together with no secrecy, when they would be free to love each other in the light, out of the shadows?

Will took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Matthew had said that they would meet tonight. No specific time, just that one word. Tonight. Will rolled the word on his tongue, savoring it.

They would meet tonight. They would be together.

Matthew would touch him, in all the forbidden places. Maybe they would even finally become lovers in the full sense of the word tonight. Will had no idea what Matthew was planning.

But whatever it was, he would go along with it. Maybe he was too trusting, too needy. Maybe he craved this intimate contact with Matthew simply because he needed to feel alive, to feel wanted, to feel .... _human_. Maybe he didn't love Matthew, and this was only a fleeting desire.

No, that wasn't true. He couldn't feel this way about anyone he didn't love. Maybe he didn't have a lot of experience with the emotion, but he was sure that he was feeling it now.

Will took a deep breath, closing his eyes. Well, he'd find out just how he felt, wouldn't he?

Once he was out of here, if he and Matthew still wanted to be together, he would find out just how those feelings might be able to grow and develop.

If they did, then it was love. If they didn't .... well, then it had only been a desire born out of his intense need to feel that he was wanted, the need inmates had to feel as though they were _somebody_ in someone's eyes. It would have been something that wasn't meant to be.

But he didn't think it was. What he felt was worth any price to be able to consummate; he would put everything on the line if he had to. And maybe it would happen tonight.

He'd be counting the minutes until Matthew was with him.


	6. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will has to wait for Matthew much longer than he'd expected.

Where was Matthew? Why wasn't he here?

Will's heart was pounding, so loudly that he could swear he heard each beat echoing off the stone walls around him. It was so loud in his ears that it was deafening.

He strained to hear, alert for the soft footstep of the man who would become his lover tonight. He wanted Matthew here, needed him with a ferocity that was almost frightening.

What if he didn't show up? Will bit his lip, closing his eyes, pushing the thought away. There was nothing for him to worry about. Matthew had said that he would come tonight, and he would. The only thing that could keep him away was some emergency, something that he had no control over.

And there was no emergency, was there? Nothing that he knew of, anyway. Not that he _would_ know, since he wasn't privy to all that went on in this building.

What if there _had_ been some emergency, something to keep Matthew away? What if he had been attacked by another prisoner, and he was hurt?

Will's heartbeat accelerated with worry for the other man.

Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself down. There was no emergency. There was nothing for him to get so agitated about. Matthew would be here. He knew it.

The minutes ticked by, and Matthew still didn't show up. Of course, he hadn't told Will exactly what time he would be here, but the waiting should have been over by now.

Will sat up, resting his head in his hands. What if Chilton had somehow found out about them? What if, even now, the man he thought he could fall in love with, the man who he physically wanted more than he'd ever wanted anything in his life, was being fired, escorted out of this prison?

That would mean that they'd never see each other again, that he would never feel Matthew's lips on his, those hands on his body. He would never be with the man he wanted.

If Matthew was fired, then Chilton would never let him back in here again; as long as Will was here, Matthew would never be allowed to visit him.

All he could think of was that Chilton somehow _knew_ , and that Matthew was bearing the brunt of the punishment for their stolen moments together. What if Chilton was going to prosecute Matthew, have him put in jail, a _real_ jail, for the acts that he and Will had already committed?

Panic threatened to rise to the surface; the only thought in his mind was that Matthew would be kept from him, that they would never be able to consummate their relationship.

He might never get out of here. He might be a prisoner in this horrible place that masqueraded as a "hospital" for the rest of his life .... without Matthew here to give him hope.

If that happened, then he might as well be dead.

No, he wasn't going to think like that. If Matthew didn't come tonight, then something had happened to keep him away, but he wasn't going to think the worst.

Thinking in that direction would only make him panic, and that was something he couldn't afford to do. He couldn't let Chilton know that anything was wrong, that he was worried.

If he acted any differently than usual, then his jailer would know that something was going on. The last thing he needed was to make Chilton, or anyone else, suspicious. He didn't want anyone to put two and two together and guess that he and Matthew were doing anything illicit.

He would have to do his best to appear nonchalant, and not to give their secrets away. He would find out what had kept Matthew away from him, and hopefully, it wouldn't be anything serious.

If it was .... but Will shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed. He wasn't going to think along those lines any longer. He wouldn't invite trouble. He had enough problems as it was.

But that wouldn't stop him from worrying, and he knew it.

Slowly, he lay down on his cot again, staring at the bars of his cell. It would be a long, lonely night, but he should be able to talk to Matthew tomorrow. He would find out what had gone wrong.

Whatever had happened, he fervently hoped that it wouldn't keep Matthew away from him much longer. Will doubted that he could deal with another nerve-wracking night like this one. He knew that he wouldn't sleep tonight, but then, he hadn't expected to get much sleep, anyway.

Sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to relax. He would see Matthew tomorrow, and the other man would set another time for them to be with each other.

Hopefully, nothing would happen to stop their next meeting.

Will sighed, turning over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. He hated that this meeting had obviously been postponed, but there was nothing he could do about it.

He had to go back to waiting, and let the anticipation build. He couldn't help feeling that by the time they were together again, they'd have both waited so long that their meeting would be explosive.


	7. Desperate Souls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will hates admitting that he's so desperate for Matthew's touch.

This was the night. Matthew had said it would be.

He'd waited two days -- two long, excruciating days. But this morning, Matthew had looked at him, nodded, given him that slightly crooked little smile, and mouthed "Tonight."

Will hadn't needed anything more than that for his mind -- and his body -- to be caught up in a state of anticipation that he hadn't known he could feel.

He didn't know why their first assignation had been thwarted; he assumed that Matthew would tell him the reason why when they were together again. But really, he didn't much care. As long as he could be with the other man, whatever explanation there was for the delay seemed unnecessary.

Was he really so desperate for contact with Matthew? Had he sunk so far that he would do anything, say anything, to have this man's touch, his nearness?

The answer to that question was a resounding _yes_. Will thought back to something that Matthew had said back when this had started, before the fever had risen so high.

_"I know how to recognize a desperate soul."_

Yes, he was desperate, and he could admit that to himself. He _needed_ Matthew, in a way that he had never needed anyone else before.

He needed Matthew to show him that he wasn't alone, that he was still alive, that he still had needs and desires. He needed this man to prove to him that being here hadn't killed all that he was.

A part of him had been terrified that he would close himself off completely from the world as a consequence of being here, that something within him, something that made him human, would turn to stone. He had been afraid that he would start to become like Hannibal, devoid of real emotions.

That was the last thing he wanted. He didn't want to look out at the world through empty eyes, to have his emotions so deeply hidden that he could never access them again.

So he had turned those emotions onto Matthew -- and he had to admit that he was more than a little shocked to find out that his own desperation was returned.

Matthew wanted him just as much as he wanted Matthew. That much was obvious. He could see his own desperate need for the other man reflected in the depths of those dark eyes every time Matthew looked at him; he was surprised that no one else had caught on yet.

But then, no one else was looking for the signs that they so blatantly sent to each other. No one else knew; no one could possibly guess. They kept their desperation well hidden.

Though not tonight, Will thought, his breath catching in his throat at the thought. Tonight, it would all come out, in a rush. They would finally consummate their feelings.

He couldn't wait. It seemed like forever before the night would be here.

Time was going to crawl until Matthew was with him, and he had no idea how his would-be lover was going to manage it. He would just have to trust in Matthew's plans, whatever they were.

Will knew that Matthew wouldn't do anything to cast suspicion on him; he had to trust that the other man knew of a way to keep all of this hidden from Chilton.

He didn't mind admitting that he and Matthew were desperate souls, with a need for each other that they had to fulfill. It might have seemed crazy to him that he could feel this way about anyone before he had ended up in here, but prison had changed him, in far too many ways.

He would have scoffed at anyone who had told him that being behind bars would make him seek out the company of anyone, that he would be so desperate for another human being.

But he'd learned some things about himself since he'd been here -- and apparently, he was going to learn a lot more before this night was over.

Will glanced at the clock, holding back a groan when he saw the time.

It was still only early afternoon. It would be _hours_ before he and Matthew would have their clandestine meeting, before his desperate need would finally be assuaged.

Did Matthew feel the same? Was he, too, watching the clock, counting the hours, the minutes, even the seconds until the two of them would meet again, body to body, skin to skin, to have what they wanted and needed so much? Was he just as anxious for this meeting as Will was?

Yes, Will told himself, a small smile tugging at his lips. He had to be. They were both desperate souls, in need of each other, and he was sure that they both felt the same way.

Settling back in his chair, he closed his eyes, trying not to look at the clock again.


	8. Ready For the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will intends to be ready when Matthew can finally come to him.

The words were quiet, furtive, spoken in a whisper.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to you last night, Will. I wanted to. But I was .... detained. Chilton might have found out, and we don't want that," Matthew told him.

Will kept his eyes averted from the other man; for all he knew, Chilton was watching them right now. In fact, he probably was, knowing the nosy bastard.

The last thing they needed was for Chilton to find out about their illicit feelings for each other; Matthew was right about that. If Chilton knew, then Matthew would be out of a job, and he could very well be prosecuted. And Will? Will would have no one. Nothing to hope for or to look forward to.

So they had to be careful, and make sure that Chilton had no clue about what was going on between them. Or, more accurately, what they _wanted_ to happen.

Will was sure that he was going to lose his mind if he had to wait for Matthew much longer. He would start screaming, and never be able to stop.

He had never experienced this kind of desire before.

What was it about Matthew that made him so desirable? Will supposed that it was because he was the only person he felt that he could truly talk to.

Matthew was the only one who reached out to him, who didn't seem as though he was unreachable behind a pane of glass that Will could see through, but not break down.

No one else really gave a damn about him. No one else cared how he was feeling, what he was going through. So Matthew had become the person that he focused on, the one person who he wanted to be with, the one who his body, as well as his heart, hungered for.

Did that mean that once he got out of here, they might have a future? He pushed that thought away, not wanting to deal with it at the moment.

That was something for them to talk about when the time came. For now, there was only the present, the situation that they found themselves in.

"It's okay," he answered, keeping his voice low and hoping that Matthew had somehow managed to turn down the sound on Chilton's cameras so they weren't being recorded. "I know that you'd have been there unless something happened that was out of your control."

"I'll be there tomorrow night, Will," Matthew told him, his voice low and seductive. "I promise you that, baby. But I don't think I'm going to make love to you."

"You're not?" Will felt disappointment flash through him, making him feel as deflated as a balloon that all of the air had suddenly gone out of. "Why not?" Don't you want me any more?"

Matthew's smile told him that wasn't the case.

"You know I want you," he said softly, his gaze moving up and down Will's body, making him feel as though he was naked and trembling in the heat of that glance. "I always have."

"Oh, you'll have me." Matthew's voice was almost a purr; it was the most seductive sound that Will had ever heard. "But I don't want it to be rushed. And I want you to be ready for me."

"But I _am_ ready," Will protested, even as his mind told him that his words were a lie. He'd never been with a man before; he had fooled around with guys, but he'd never gone further than some kissing and touching. He'd never been close to having sex with another man. Not yet.

With Matthew, that would happen. He had no doubt of that. They couldn't want each other this badly and not follow through on their desire. It wasn't possible.

"Not the way I want you to be," Matthew told him, his voice lowering even more. "But you will be. And when I make love to you, it'll be even better for both of us."

Will could only nod, swallowing hard, his breath coming faster.

What did Matthew mean? He had no idea what the other man could be talking about, but he was going to put his trust in whatever it was that had been planned for him.

Whatever was going to happen, he would embrace it if it meant that Matthew would become his lover in truth. Yes, they would have to be careful and keep their activities hidden from Chilton, but they could do it. When there was a will, there was a way. And they would find that way.

"Tomorrow night, Will," Matthew whispered, his dark gaze boring into Will's. "Be waiting. And be ready for anything. I promise you, it'll be a night to remember."

He moved away from Will's cell without another word.

Will watched Matthew as he went to the door and left the room, wondering just what was going to happen tomorrow night. He would have a while to ponder the question.

Right now, all he wanted to do was count the hours, the minutes, the seconds until he would see Matthew. He could hardly wait for the next night to arrive.

What would happen? And would he be ready for the night, as Matthew requested?

Suddenly, it seemed like a very long time before the following night would finally arrive.


	9. Each Other's Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has come for Will and Matthew to consummate their desire for each other.

It was going to happen tonight. He would be with Matthew.

Will could feel his heartbeat quicken in his chest as he heard slow footsteps in the hallway, moving closer toward his cell. Matthew was here. He knew it.

He could _feel_ the other man's presence before he could see Matthew. Somehow, his senses _knew_ that the man he so desperately wanted was near; he could feel Matthew reaching out to him, just as surely as he would soon feel Matthew's touch, his kiss.

He wanted to run to the bars of his cell and reach out for the other man, but he forced himself to stay seated, to be patient and wait.

Waiting felt like the hardest thing he'd ever done.

But the wait was nearly over, he told himself. Matthew was approaching his cell, walking towards him in the darkness. He could hear those footsteps drawing closer.

Will drew in a sharp breath when he heard the key scrape in the lock of his cell; he knew that Matthew was coming in, that tonight was going to be the night. This had been inevitable from the first moment their eyes had met; it was written in the stars. They were each other's destiny.

He wanted this. He wanted it more than he had ever thought he could want anything, more than he'd thought he was capable of desiring anyone.

His hunger for Matthew had taken him over, and he no longer cared if Chilton knew. He didn't care if every camera in the place was trained on them at this very moment.

All he wanted was to feel Matthew's hands on his bare flesh, to feel the other man's mouth on his. He wanted Matthew inside him, taking him, filling him, making love to him. He wanted to belong to Matthew, totally and completely, to be made his in every possible way.

He knew that Matthew's hunger matched his own; he could feel it in that touch, that kiss. He could sense it in the way that Matthew approached him, feel it in the tension of his body.

Will almost cried out when Matthew touched him.

Almost, but not quite. He managed to hold that cry back, to stifle it. Then Matthew's mouth was on his, swallowing any sound that he could make in a hot, heady kiss.

That kiss had all the pent-up hunger in it that Will had been holding inside himself. He could let that hunger go now, let his desire come to the surface. Matthew had turned of the cameras and the microphones; there was no one to know what was happening here. No one but the two of them.

And they would never tell, Will thought as Matthew began to unzip the front of his orange coverall. They would never betray each other. They would be faithful.

He closed his eyes as his clothes were slowly peeled away from his body.


	10. Consummation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will's first time isn't entirely what he had expected.

It felt strange to be naked with another man.

Of course, he'd dreamed about this moment, thought about it for what seemed like forever. But Will still felt unsettled, uncomfortable, unable to be at ease with his own nudity.

That wasn't surprising, was it? he asked himself. He'd never been with anyone before, and until Matthew had come into his life, he'd never thought that he would be.

Oh, he'd thought about it, and there had been fumbling attempts to convince himself that he liked girls back when he was in college. But he'd never actually done anything more than fumble, and even though he'd had several crushes on boys, he'd never even had a date with a man.

Now, here he was, an inmate in a mental institution that doubled as a prison, in a darkened cell about to give his body to another man for the first time.

He wasn't having second thoughts. He wanted this more than he had ever wanted anything. But it still felt strange, as though he was walking through a waking dream.

Though somehow, he knew that it wouldn't _feel_ like a dream.

Will closed his eyes as Matthew's hands moved down his back, over his sides, coming to rest on his hips. Those hands were slightly calloused, strong, sure.

Then Matthew was pushing him forward slightly, to lean against the bars of his cell. Will curled his fingers around those bars, sure that he would need something to hold on to. He didn't doubt that Matthew was going to take him from behind, that he wouldn't be able to turn around to face his lover.

That was all right with him, he told himself, swallowing hard. He didn't think that he could face Matthew while it was happening. He didn't want to look into those eyes.

Not while he was being taken for the first time.

Those hands, those wonderful warm hands, were moving over his body again, up to his shoulders, then down his arms. Matthew was stroking his entire body, relaxing him.

When those hands stilled, Matthew leaned against him, and Will's eyes widened. A gasp came from his throat, one that he hadn't expected himself to make.

He could feel Matthew's erection against his buttocks -- and it was much harder, and much _larger_ than he'd expected it to be. For a moment, there was only one thought in his mind: _How is something that fucking big going to fit inside me?_ For a moment, he almost panicked.

Then he forced the panic down, forced himself to breathe normally. Of course it was going to hurt a little; this was his first time. He couldn't expect it to be completely painless.

But the pleasure would override the pain. He was sure of that.

Will's blue eyes widened and he let out a soft gasp as Matthew's fingers trailed down his back, over his buttocks, to slip down the cleft of his ass. He knew what was coming next.

Then those fingers were gone, and Will wondered what was happening, what Matthew was doing. Had he changed his mind? Was this going to stop? Then those fingers were back again, and this time, they felt wet. Will knew instantly what was going on. Matthew had lubed his fingers.

His breath came faster now; he knew what Matthew was going to do. Before the thought could finish coalescing in his his mind, one finger pressed inside him, and he let out another gasp that was almost, but not quite, a soft cry. It felt good; it didn't hurt at all. He'd expected it to be a little painful.

But it wasn't; he just felt _full_ , more so than he'd thought. And this was only one finger, he told himself. How would be feel when Matthew's cock was inside him?

That thought was much more arousing than he'd intended it to be.

He was hard now; his cock was brushing against the bars of the cell. Even that contact aroused him; it was as though his skin was aching to be touched in any way possible.

A second finger joined the first, and Will moaned in response. He couldn't hold the sound back; it seemed to fill the cell, reverberating off the cold stone walls. Matthew didn't tell him to be quiet; he had obviously disabled not only Chilton's cameras, but any microphones that were around.

All he wanted was to feel Matthew inside him, for their bodies to be joined. His body ached for that contact; he wanted, _needed_ to be filled, fucked, taken.

Will gasped when Matthew's fingers slid out of him; his muscles tensed, his body tightening, ready for what he knew was coming. He couldn't stop it now; he'd gone too far to turn back.

He had waited for these next few moments all of his life.

The thrust came hard and fast; Will's hands clenched on the bars, his cry resounding throughout the quiet of the cell. For just a moment, pain seemed to flash through his entire body.

Then the pain was gone, and all he could feel was warmth, a sensation of fullness, a feeling of being taken upwards, higher and higher, until he was sure that he could reach out and touch the very heavens. He was caught up in pure pleasure, unfamiliar sensations taking him over.

He could feel Matthew pulling back, but he knew that his lover wouldn't slip out of him. Matthew would stay inside his body, making love to him until they both reached the peak.

Without realizing he was doing so, Will pushed his hips back.

Matthew had pulled almost all the way out of him, but now he slid in again, deeper this time. Will could feel another moan rising to his lips, one that he uttered without constraint.

He was gripping the bars of his cell, clinging to them with a ferocity that whitened his knuckles. The feeling of Matthew inside him was intense, searing, as though the other man was a part of him.

He hadn't thought that it would be this .... _intimate_. Somehow, he had convinced himself that it would merely be the joining of two bodies, that he would finally lose his virginity after years of wondering what it would be like to be with another man. But he hadn't expected this.

Will desperately wanted to turn around and be taken into Matthew's arms, to feel the other man's lips on his, to be kissed and held as well as being taken.

But to do that, he would have to break the contact they had now, and he couldn't bear to do that. He wanted more, wanted Matthew to stay inside him for the rest of his life.

He wanted this to go on forever, even though he knew that it wouldn't.

Sooner or later, this contact would end, Matthew would slide out of him, and it would be done. But while it lasted, he wanted to savor every moment, every second.

He could feel his orgasm uncoiling in the pit of his belly, feel himself starting to spiral upwards, towards those stars that he was sure he could touch, towards the clouds that seemed to whirl amongst those stars. He could reach out and feel them .... yes, he was almost there .....

Will could feel Matthew thrusting into him, hear the other man's soft pants and gasps, hear his own moans joining the sounds that his lover was making.

The world seemed to stand still; time ceased to flow.

He and Matthew were caught up in a private world of their own, a world where no one else could touch them, a world that no one else could enter and disturb them.

There was only the two of them, and what was happening between their bodies. They were joined; two had become one. They breathed as one entity, one body, one soul.

Matthew's hands moved to rest over Will's on the bars, fingers curling around Will's palms. His thrusts increased in force and rhythm; after a few moments, they became erratic, as though he no longer had control over what his body was doing. His breathing, too, was erratic and disjointed, catching in his throat.

Will dimly sensed that this was coming to an end, he knew that their bodes couldn't keep this up for much longer. He was having a hard time holding himself back, his body demanding release.

With the next thrust, it came. Will cried out, spilling onto the floor outside of the bars, his body trembling in the aftermath of his climax. He could feel Matthew release inside him with a guttural cry.

He sagged against the bars as Matthew's arms went around him.

Will knew that those arms were the only thing holding him up; he felt boneless, unable to move a muscle. He was sure that if his lover released him, he would be a heap on the floor.

All he could do was lean against the bars, panting, waiting for Matthew to pull out of him. Instead, the other man leaned against him, resting his cheek against Will's before whispering into his ear. "That was amazing, baby. You're so hot, so tight. I want to do this again. Soon."

Will could do nothing but nod; he felt the same way. But he knew that he would have to wait a few days before he would be up to doing this again.

He already felt a little sore, even with Matthew still inside him.

But it was a good kind of sore, he told himself. This was how he wanted to feel. He wanted the imprint of Matthew's body to stay on his skin, to keep this feeling for as long as he could.

Even the soreness was welcome, because it was a part of what they had done together. Matthew hadn't done it _to_ him. He had been a willing participant.

He almost groaned when Matthew pulled out of him; he had wanted their bodies to stay connected, though he knew that his lover couldn't spend too much time with him. If he did, then his absence in other parts of the place would be noticed, and their affair would be ended when it had barely begun.

Matthew's lips were close to his ear; Will could feel the other man's breath on his skin. "I'll come to you again, baby. Just be ready for me whenever it happens."

Will couldn't speak; he could only nod in agreement. No matter when Matthew came to him again, he would be ready and willing. He only hoped it would be _soon_.

He could hear the rustling of cloth as Matthew got dressed.

He didn't turn around, didn't watch Matthew putting his clothes back on, and he didn't make a move to dress himself. He would do that when Matthew had left.

Will watched as the other man left the cell, locking it behind him. Matthew reached for him, running calloused, gentle fingers down his cheek and smiling at him. There were no words exchanged between them; Will knew that they needed no words. No words could possibly express how he felt.

In fact, he wasn't entirely sure of how he felt. He would have to think about all that had happened tonight, process it. That might take a while.

But one thing he _did_ know was that he had no regrets.

Silently, he watched as Matthew pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and bent down to wipe up the semen that had puddled on the floor outside of his cell.

When Matthew straightened up again, their eyes met, and Will's breath caught in his throat. He almost thought that his lover would come back into the cell and take him again.

But Matthew didn't do that; instead, he reached for Will's hand, drawing it through the bars and raising it to his lips. He slowly kissed each fingertip, almost reverently, then took Will's index finger into his mouth and sucked on it, slowly, gently, very deliberately, as their gazes met.

Will knew that his body was aroused again without even looking down -- and he knew that Matthew could see it, too. How could he miss it? His erection was right there for the world to see.

Still, he knew that Matthew wouldn't take advantage of that tonight. He had other places to be, things that he had to do to keep suspicion away from the two of them.

Slowly, he let Will's finger slip out of his mouth, and released his hand.

A slow smile spread over Matthew's face as he watched Will, then he leaned forward so that his face nearly touched the cold iron bars of the cell.

"I'll be with you again, Will," he whispered, his lips so close to Will's that he could almost feel that warm breath on his skin. "Maybe not here, but somewhere. I'll try not to make you wait too long, baby. I need you as much as you need me. Remember that. Keep thinking about next time."

With those words, he smiled at Will once again, a secret, knowing smile, then turned and left. Will watched him go, wishing that he could have summoned up something to say.

He knew what he wanted to say. But it was too soon for that.

Now wasn't the time to tell Matthew that he loved him. _Was_ he in love? He wasn't sure. He knew that he felt desire, but that wasn't love. He wasn't sure just where his emotions lay. Not yet.

With a soft sigh, Will finally turned away from the bars and bent to pick up his boxers and jumpsuit. He doubted that he would be able to sleep, but the rest of this night would give him a chance to think.

He had a lot of think about, and a lot to savor.

And he would also be counting the hours until Matthew was with him again.


	11. Irrevocably Changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will wonders if Matthew feels as changed by their first sexual encounter as he himself has been.

Did he look any different to the people around him?

Will didn't think so, but he _felt_ different. Everything seemed to have changed; nothing looked or felt quite the same as it had before last night.

Colors seemed brighter; sounds were louder. He felt as though he was floating in a kind of sensual haze, even though it was long after he and Matthew had been together.

Could anyone tell that he had been irrevocably changed by his first sexual encounter? Will didn't think so; he changed wasn't outwardly apparent. Even Chilton, with his sharp eyes that sometimes seemed to see everything, had noticed that there was a difference about him.

Of course, he was careful to hide that difference from Chilton. He didn't make eye contact with the other man when they spoke, and his answers to questions were his usual monosyllables.

No, Chilton wouldn't be able to discern any difference. No one could. He kept that difference hidden within himself, only taking it out to look at it when he knew that he was alone.

Of course, he was never alone in here, Will thought a bit sourly.

Even when he was in his cell, he was being spied on. Chilton had cameras everywhere, which was why Matthew had to be so careful about coming to him.

Of course, those cameras malfunctioned quite a lot. But in the daytime, when there were people around, and even in the evening hours, those problems were quickly fixed.

It was only in the dead of night, when Matthew had come to him last night, that things like malfunctioning cameras could be explained away. Chilton wouldn't suspect that he was entertaining a lover in his cell in the middle of the night. He would think that Will was sleeping, like everyone else.

But he hadn't been sleeping. He had been with Matthew last night. He had lost his virginity -- and it had been the most incredible experience of his entire life.

It still seemed as though it had all been a dream.

Will knew that it hadn't been a dream. His body told him that. He could still feel the soreness, even hours after Matthew had left him alone in his cell to think about all that had happened between them and relieve it over and over again before he had finally fallen asleep.

That soreness was welcome; it told him that he hadn't just dreamed it all, that having sex with Matthew hadn't just been a figment of his fevered imagination.

No, not a fever any longer, he told himself. That had been taken care of. The encephalitis was gone; he was no longer in any danger from that.

The danger now wasn't losing his mind, but losing his heart. That was what the momentous change in him was; it wasn't just that he had given away his virginity, it was that he was in imminent danger of letting himself fall for someone who, more than likely, didn't feel the same way about him.

Matthew wanted him. That was more than obvious.

But was it just lust on Matthew's part, or was it something more? There was no way of knowing, not unless he asked the other man that question point-blank.

He wasn't ready to ask that question yet, and he wondered if he ever would be. By the time he had gathered enough strength to be able to put it into words, their affair would probably be long over, and Matthew would have moved on to someone else. He had to face that fact.

But what if this wasn't just a lustful attraction on Matthew's part? What if he cared for Will, and they could make a life together once he finally got out of this place?

 _If_ he got out of here, Will thought with a soft sigh. That might never happen. At the moment, it looked as though he might end up getting the death penalty.

Thanks to Hannibal, and good frame-up job he'd done.

Anger coursed through him at the thought; that bastard had managed to tie up all the loose ends, hadn't he? There was no way that Will could prove he was innocent.

Hannibal had thought of everything. Will was neatly trapped in a corner, like a mouse running through a maze that was inescapable, no matter which way he turned.

Matthew was a light in the darkness, the one thing that he could hold on to. Now that he had gotten a grip, he wasn't going to let go. He was going to fight to keep Matthew in his life, and if his life had to end here, then he was going to take all of the happiness that he could get while he still had the chance.

Will swallowed hard, closing his eyes. He wanted to believe that there was a life ahead for the two of them, that he would get out of here, and that they had a future.

Could he afford to think like that? Was it a possibility? Or would it be better to accept that he might very well die here, and that all of his dreams would go unfulfilled?

No, not all of them. There was one dream that Matthew had made come true.

He had wanted to be loved, to have a lover. And now, because of Matthew, that dream had become a reality -- and he had been changed in so many ways because of it.

Matthew had already given him so much. Could he ask for more? Did he have that right? He sighed again, slumping back against the wall behind the bed. Could he ask Matthew to put faith and trust in him, to believe along with him that more could come of this than what they already had?

Would Matthew even want to do that? Or was he only looking at this as a seduction, something that was pleasant for the moment, but wouldn't last for very long?

He had to know the answer to that question.

Had Matthew been changed in the same ways that he had? It was a burning question, one that he knew would eat away at him until he had the answer from Matthew himself.

And the only way to get that answer was to ask. He had no choice in the matter. He had to know, and he had to face the answer, whatever it might be. Even if it broke his heart into tiny shards, it was something that he had to hear. He'd have to get Matthew to talk to him about it.

Would they be able to simply talk, rather than sating themselves with each other, in the little time that they had to be together? Will wasn't at all sure that they could.

Still, he'd have to manage it. He couldn't just ignore the issue.

if he did, then it would sink into his soul, and it would start to affect him in more ways than just wondering about what their future might be. It could change him in even more ways.

He wasn't going to let himself sink into depression. He wasn't going to let himself keep wondering. He was going to talk to Matthew, to pose the question to him the first chance he got.

It remained to be seen what the answer would be.

And just how much more than answer would change him, for better or worse.


	12. Waiting For A Sign

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will is finding it harder and harder to wait for some kind of sign from Matthew as to when they'll be intimate again.

He was waiting for a sign from Matthew.

Will could tell that Chilton was watching the two of them; he had seemed to look at Will much more sharply over the past few days, as though he could see through him.

The thought of Chilton seeing into his soul, knowing what he felt for Matthew, sent a chill into Will's heart. The last thing he wanted was for them to be found out.

If they were, then Matthew would lose his job -- and Chilton would have every legal right to prosecute him for having sex with a patient. An _inmate_ , really, Will thought bitterly. That was all he was here -- a prisoner. In Chilton's eyes, he was nothing more than some kind of experiment.

He wasn't a human being in this place. For all that it was called a "hospital," and the people here were referred to as being patients, they were nothing more than criminals.

He wasn't going to think of himself in that way -- because it wasn't true. He had done nothing. Hannibal was the criminal; he was the one who should be here behind bars.

But if he wasn't here, he would never have met Matthew.

Their coupling was staring to seem like a dream, something that hadn't really taken place. But Will knew that it was real, even though the soreness in his body was gone.

If he closed his eyes and thought back to that night, he could still feel Matthew thrusting into him, still feel those hands and lips on his bare flesh.

He wanted that feeling again, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. He was waiting for Matthew to give him some kind of a sign, to let him know when they could be together again. He was trying to be patient, but it was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

It was driving him crazy, this waiting. He wanted to grab the bars of his cell and rattle them, shout that he wanted Matthew _now_ , that he _needed_ him.

But, of course, he couldn't do that.

He had to stay quiet, to keep his relationship with Matthew a secret. If anyone knew about what they had done, it would spell disaster for both of them.

Will sighed softly, leaning his head back against the wall of his cell. It was _so hard_ to be quiet about his feelings, to not cry out for the man he wanted to be with.

He had to stay quiet. He couldn't let anything slip.

Matthew had to do the same thing -- and Will was sure that it was just as hard for him. Harder, probably, because he had to be around people all the time.

They both had to face Chilton -- Matthew for his job, and Will for his therapy sessions. But he was careful to keep himself guarded at all times when he was in those sessions; he hadn't let anything slip so far, though the worry that he would was always in the back of his mind.

How could he not worry about it? Matthew was on his mind constantly, and in his dreams. Will was sure that there wasn't one moment in the day when he didn't think about his lover.

Did Matthew think about him in the same way? Or now that he'd had Will, would he move on to someone else and forget about the intimacy that they had shared?

No, he wouldn't, Will told himself firmly. Matthew wasn't like that.

Matthew wasn't the kind of man who would make love to him and then drop him. He wasn't a butterfly that flitted from one flower to another. He was steadfast.

At least, Will _hoped_ that he was. That was the feeling he had gotten from Matthew, but he could be wrong. He was ready to admit that he made mistakes.

After all, look at the mistake he'd made in thinking that Hannibal was his friend, he told himself sourly. He obviously wasn't a good judge of character; he really shouldn't trust his feelings about anyone, not even Matthew, considering that he'd made such a terrible mistake with Hannibal.

But there was a huge difference between Matthew and Hannibal -- the man who he'd thought was his friend wasn't his lover, and never would be.

Matthew wasn't anything like Hannibal. He was a different kind of person altogether; Will was sure of that. What he felt for Will was going to last.

It wasn't just lust. It had to be more than that.

Yet here he was, still waiting on some kind of sign from Matthew that they would be intimate again, that they could pick up where they had left off.

How long would he have to wait? Will clenched his fists in frustration; there were times when he really wanted to hist something, anything, to release his tension.

But hitting the wall obviously wouldn't do any good -- he would only end up bruising his knuckles, and with his luck, probably break his hand in the process. That wasn't something that he needed to deal with, not while he was in here. He didn't need more pain on top of everything else.

It was painful enough to wait for Matthew every day, and not to know when his lover would touch him again. He hoped it would be soon, because he couldn't take this for much longer.

Would the waiting stretch on and on, or would Matthew give him a sign today? He knew that his lover was watched, so it wasn't easy for him to indicate anything to Will.

He would manage to do it, though, Will told himself. He _had_ to.

Somehow, Matthew would give him some kind of sign -- a note, a nod, a smile, a secret look -- that would give him some clue as to when they would be together again.

And he would be prepared for it, Will thought to himself. Matthew had told him that he should be ready, and he would be. He wouldn't hold anything back when he had the chance to be with Matthew; he would be ready for his lover, ready for anything that Matthew wanted to do.

He was willing to put himself into Matthew's hands, to trust him implicitly. Maybe trusting like that was a fault of his, but he couldn't change who he was.

Maybe that was a part of him that Matthew treasured.

That thought would sustain him as he continued to wait for a sign from Matthew. He would look for that sign any time they were near each other, communicated silently between them.

Matthew would give him that sign, he was certain. He just had to be on the lookout for it, and be ready to do whatever Matthew wanted him to when the sign came.

He was ready, Will told himself. Ready and willing. _More_ than willing.

He just hoped that sign was going to come soon.


	13. A Definite Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the small snatches of time that he can spend being close to Matthew feel like a victory to Will.

Will looked up as Matthew appeared at the door of his cell.

His heart seemed to race in his chest; he had been waiting for what felt like days to see the other man, waiting to have some word as to when they would meet again.

All he wanted was another chance to be intimate with Matthew; he didn't care where it happened, as long as he could feel those lips on his, those hands on his body, and feel Matthew inside him again, taking him, joining them in the most primal passion possible.

Will got up from his cot, going to the bars and placing one hand over Matthew's. He was feeling reckless; he didn't care who might see them.

To hell with Chilton. To hell with the rest of the world.

He _needed_ that contact, that touch. He hungered for Matthew in a way that he'd never thought he could for anyone; he needed to feel close to his lover.

"Don't worry about anybody seeing us," Matthew whispered as his fingers curled around Will's through the bars. "The cameras are down." He winked, grinning at Will. "I might have had something to do with that. I just needed to touch you and not have him see."

Will nodded, feeling his throat tighten. This was so frustrating, only being able to touch Matthew here and there, their caresses stolen and furtive.

But they were together now, he told himself firmly. It might only be for a few moments, but anything was better than not touching Matthew at all.

And this was a victory for them, being able to be together like this with no one watching them, even if it was only for a small amount of stolen time. Any way that he could be Matthew was worth taking risks for; he hungered for this time, these few snatches of intimacy.

Though it couldn't really be called "intimacy" when there were bars between them, Will thought sadly. Still, at least they could touch, and talk to each other.

"What about the microphones?" he asked, keeping his voice low.

"All out," Matthew replied, with another wink and a roguish smile. "And they're all going to be out tomorrow morning, too. When you're in the shower."

Will couldn't keep back a smile of his own. This was a definite victory for them; he didn't know how Matthew would manage to keep any cameras or microphones from working, but he didn't really care. As long as he could be with his lover, any risk seemed worth taking.

"Tomorrow morning," Matthew told him, squeezing his hand, then looking up. "The cameras won't be out long. I have to go. But be ready, Will. I'll come for you."

Will nodded, his heart leaping in his chest.

He was already counting the hours until tomorrow morning.

This feeling of victory would get him through the coming hours, until he could finally be with his lover again.


	14. All That He Wants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Will wants is to be with Matthew -- even though he knows that they're taking a huge risk.

He needed Matthew more than he'd ever needed anyone.

Will almost felt as though he was jumping out of his skin; he had to struggle to keep the anticipation back, to look as though this was just another morning.

But it wasn't just another morning. Matthew had told him that something was going to happen, and Will could feel his stomach clench in anticipation.

What did Matthew have planned? Whatever it was, it would be happening in the shower. Will showered alone; that in itself was a blessing, though he'd been more than a little disconcerted to find out that there were cameras in the showers, as well as microphones.

Though given Chilton's propensity for spying on anyone and everyone, he really shouldn't be surprised, should he? Will asked himself, a wry smile twisting his lips.

Still, he didn't like knowing that Chilton apparently watched him shower. He didn't like the idea that the pervert got to see him naked.

He was just glad that he didn't touch himself when he was there.

That would be all he needed, for Chilton to see him doing something like that and bring the fact up in his so-called "therapy" sessions.

Will shuddered at the thought of those sessions; he hated sitting there, trying to avoid having Chilton probe too deeply into his thoughts, afraid that at some point, he would slip up, make a careless mistake, and Chilton would have some proof of his feelings for Matthew.

Of all the things that frightened him, that one was the most prominent. Even his fear of the upcoming trial faded before that burgeoning fear of discovery.

If Chilton found out about the two of them, he would lose Matthew, and his lover was the only thing that kept him going in this cold, cheerless place.

Not only that, but Matthew would lose his job, and his good name.

He would never see Matthew again if they were discovered; he was absolutely positive of that fact. Chilton would make sure that the two of them were kept apart, even if Will _did_ manage to get out of here -- which, at the moment, he very much doubted would happen.

Matthew was all that kept him hanging on to the slim thread of sanity. Matthew, and the thought of proving that he'd been framed, and taking his revenge on Hannibal.

His fists clenched as he thought of that monster, then he took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He didn't want to think about Hannibal now.

If Hannibal hadn't framed him for murder, then he wouldn't be here -- but he also wouldn't have met Matthew, and discovered what it was like to fall in love, so deeply and irrevocably that he knew he would always feel this way about this particular man, not just for all of his life, but for eternity.

Just that thought made his heart sing, even on his darkest days.

The anticipation of seeing Matthew now almost made him feel as though he could jump for joy -- but of course, he couldn't do that, not where he might be seen.

He had no idea just when the cameras would be turned off, or when Matthew would come to him. He had to look as though this was just another mundane day.

The last thing he and Matthew needed was for Chilton to have any kind of inkling that something was different, that there might be something going on between them. He couldn't let his mask of ennui slip; he had to make his jailer believe that he was cowed, suppressed, diminished.

That was difficult, given how he had been feeling ever since the first time he and Matthew had been intimate. But it was something he had to force himself to do.

Though it was easy enough to manage in the therapy sessions, Will thought, a small, more genuine smile quirking his lips. It was actually fun knowing that he was fooling Chilton.

But he'd still have to be careful not to slip up.

He took a deep breath as another orderly, not Matthew, unlocked his cell door and took his arm to lead him to the showers. The man left him alone there, slipping away unobtrusively.

That was one way that Chilton managed to fool the inmates of this place, Will himself sourly as he methodically stripped off his clothes. He gave them the _illusion_ of some privacy.

He'd always thought that he had some privacy here, in the showers, if nowhere else. He wasn't surprised that Chilton surreptitiously watched his patients shower, though. The man had a prurient mind, and Will didn't doubt that Chilton enjoyed looking at naked men.

Just the thought of Chilton watching him made his skin crawl; he couldn't suppress a shudder as he tried not to look around to see where the cameras might be hidden.

He couldn't do that, he told himself firmly. He couldn't let Chilton know that he had any idea he was observed; that would only cause him more problems.

It would be one more thing for Chilton to hold against him.

The anticipation was growing now, collecting in the pit of his stomach, making him feel short of breath, dizzy with the need to see his lover.

All he wanted right now was to be close to Matthew, to be in the other man's arms, to feel Matthew's warm breath on his neck, feel the other man's presence.

No, that wasn't all he wanted, Will told himself as he moved into the shower area and turned on the hot water, adjusting it to the right temperature. He wanted to feel Matthew inside him, filling him, fucking him, taking him. He wanted their bodies to be joined.

He _needed_ that heat, that light, that feeling of becoming one with Matthew. He needed that connection more than he'd ever needed anything in his entire life.

Without it, then he would let himself fall into true ennui; he would become depressed, and he might not be able to make it out of here alive.

He _had_ to make it out. Just as he _had_ to be with Matthew.

Will didn't know when Matthew had come into the room, or moved behind him; he could just _sense_ that his lover was there, near him, his presence filling Will's reality.

Matthew was here. He let himself sink back against the other man, his head falling back, his eyes closing; his world was complete now, even though they could only be together for a short time. He would make the most of this time, make this last, and savor every second of it.

Matthew's arms were around him, his lips on Will's neck, then his shoulder; Will could feel that the other man was already naked, and in need of him.

Well, he needed Matthew just as much, if not more.

He leaned forward, his hands on the slick wall of the shower, bracing himself.

He was ready -- and he was willing to do whatever his lover wanted of him.


	15. The Only Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though their encounter is rushed, the three little words that Matthew whispers to Will are the only words he needs to hear.

Will had to hold back a cry when Matthew thrust into him.

There was no warning, though Matthew's fingers had been inside him only a moment ago. He hadn't expected them to be replaced so quickly.

But the quicksilver pain that had flashed through his body disappeared within seconds, to be replaced by a deep, throbbing pleasure that seemed to take him over. It was all he could feel, that pleasure, seeping through his body, coursing through his veins like lava.

It wouldn't last; he knew that it couldn't. They both needed each other too badly to make it last; they'd held out for far too long.

Will wanted nothing more than for this to go on forever.

The hot water only intensified how good this felt; it was almost as though they were under a waterfall, away from this place that Will was unwillingly trapped within.

Somehow, that didn't seem to matter now; all that mattered was that Matthew was here with him, taking him, making love to him. They were together, even if it was only for a brief moment in time, and they would have to be separated again until their next clandestine meeting.

That didn't matter. Nothing mattered, only the fact that they were joined in the here and now, in the flames of a passion that Will knew would never die.

He gasped as Matthew pressed the front of his body against the cool, wet tiles of the shower; he could feel the hot water coming down all around him, warm on his skin.

But not as warm as Matthew's hands on his body, or his lover's breath in his ear. Not as warm as the feelings that coursed through him; not as warm as the emotions that he knew were building in his heart for this man, the one person who he could reach out to.

Will cried out when he came, feeling Matthew's release inside him only seconds later, hearing his lover's guttural cry of his name, and then silence.

No sound but the water that was still raining down on the tiles.

Will could feel Matthew withdraw from him; the other man's arms wrapped around him, and then there was hot breath in his ear, and three whispered words.

Then Matthew was gone, padding away into the changing room next to the showers. Will knew that he would have to wait until Matthew had left the room, then turn off the water and go to dry himself off before he was taken back to his cell.

As he leaned against the tiles and felt the water still pouring down on his bare skin, those three words went through Will's mind, giving him strength.

 _I love you._ The only words that he needed to hear.

Those words were his lifeline. His salvation. They were what kept him going.

As long as he knew that Matthew meant those words, they could sustain him through anything.


	16. The Fire Between Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will wants to be utterly consumed by the fire that rages between himself and Matthew when they're together.

There was a fire that smoldered between himself and Matthew.

Will closed his eyes, leaning back against the cold stone wall of his cell, thinking of those delicious moments that had passed between the two of them in the shower.

It still didn't seem possible for such passion to exist. Would he have known this kind of desire if he had never been in the situation, never been thrown in jail, never met Matthew? He didn't think so. He would have gone through his entire life without this experience.

Still, being in jail wasn't something that he could be thankful for, even though it had brought him to Matthew and opened him up to physical passion.

He'd never known that he could feel like this about anyone.

It was strange that Matthew would be the person he'd lost his heart -- and his virginity -- to. But at the same time, maybe it had been inevitable.

Matthew was the only person around him who understood him, the only person here who he had forged a real connection with. Maybe it made sense that in his loneliness and isolation, he had reached out in a physical way to the one person who he felt cared about him.

He sounded like Hannibal and Chilton, trying to psychoanalyze himself, Will thought with a wry smile. That was one thing he wanted to avoid at all costs.

The last thing he needed was to start thinking like the two of them.

Matthew kept him from doing that. Matthew was his one oasis in the ocean of isolation that he sometimes felt he was drowing in. Matthew kept his head above water.

If he hadn't met Matthew, if they didn't have this incredible connection, this fire between them, would he even make it through the days here -- and the long, dark nights? Will was sure that without Matthew, he would have already given up and lost hope.

Without Matthew, he wouldn't be able to survive in this place. The thoughts of revenge against Hannibal would never be enough. He needed more to hold on to.

Matthew gave him what he needed, in so many ways.

Would this fire that raged between them go out once he was out of here, when the relative positions of their relationship could undergo a serious change?

Will hoped that wouldn't happen. He wanted this to go on as it was; he didn't want to be the more dominant one in their relationship. He hoped that once he got out of this place -- _if_ he got out, he reminded himself -- that his relationship with Matthew would continue as it was.

He didn't want anything between them to be different. He wanted this fire to keep raging, until it consumed him with more than just passion.

He wanted to let these flames take over his life.


	17. Finding A Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew desperately wants to start a life with Will -- but the situation they're in now prevents that from happening.

What was he going to do about the situation he and Will were in?

Matthew sighed softly, closing his eyes as he propped his chin in his hands. He rested his elbows on the table in the cafeteria, pondering his problem.

He wanted to get Will out of here. He wanted the two of them to have a life together, a life where they didn't have to sneak around and hide what they felt for each other. Most of all, he wanted to prove that Will was innocent of what he was supposed to have done.

He didn't believe for one single second that Will Graham was a killer. No. That wasn't possible. Not Will. Not the man he knew, the man he had come to love.

Will would never do the things that had been attributed to him. No, he had been framed, and Matthew was sure that he knew who had done it.

Hannibal Lecter. The man looked like a snake, and reminded Matthew of a reptile. Cold-blooded, uncaring, the sort of person who lived only for themselves.

The man just rubbed Matthew the wrong way.

He hadn't liked Lecter from the first time he'd seen the man. There was just something slimy about him; there was an aura of _evil_ that surrounded him.

Matthew didn't think that he was being foolish to feel that way. There was something _wrong_ with Lecter, something that made him back away.

And this man was, for some reason, obsessed with Will. He constantly came to see Will, and even when Matthew hadn't been able to hear their conversations, he could tell that being around this man agitated Will, made him uncomfortable. He didn't like that.

He didn't want Lecter anywhere near Will. He didn't like Lecter's attitude, his arrogance, his attitude of being above everyone in this place.

He wasn't jealous. There was nothing to be jealous about.

Will didn't like Lecter, either. He could tell from the way the young man looked at his visitor, the way his lip visibly curled whenever he said Lecter's name.

Matthew was sure that Lecter was the reason Will was here. That man had framed Will for these murders, he was absolutely positive of it. Lecter seemed like the sort of person who would kill indiscriminately; Matthew didn't doubt that he would throw Will under the bus to save himself.

He would use anyone else who happened to be convenient to cover his own tracks. Lecter was a snake, and he was also a dangerous man.

But there was nothing that Matthew could do to keep him away.

He hated feeling so helpless. He hated knowing that there was nothing he could do to prevent that man from seeing Will, from being near him.

If only there was some way to prove Will's innocence, to get him out of here so that the two of them could have a life outside of these walls. This wasn't the kind of place to forge a relationship; nothing could come of it, and it wasn't something that Will would want to remember when he got out.

Matthew didn't doubt that he _would_ get out. Lecter had done a good frame job; he had to admit that. But Will wasn't guilty. He was positive on that score.

Somehow, Will's innocence would be proven, and he would be a free man again. And Matthew was sure that he wouldn't want to carry any memories of his time here with him.

So what was he going to do? How could he fix things?

Matthew sighed again, rubbing his hands over his face. It had been a long night, and he was tired. He couldn't think straight. He needed to sleep.

Maybe once he did, he could come up with some kind of solution. Maybe his head would clear and some ideas would present themselves to him once he'd rested.

He placed a hand over his mouth as he yawned, shaking his head as he pushed back his chair and got to his feet. He really needed to go home and get some sleep.

He couldn't think about the problem that faced him and Will when he was this tired. And it wouldn't do Will any good for him to come at the problem when he was confused and his mind wasn't in proper working order. He needed to rest before he could tackle this.

He desperately wanted to see Will again before he left for the day, but he knew that he couldn't. It would be too risky; he'd be seen as spending too much time around Will.

The last thing they needed was for their relationship to be discovered.

That thought was enough to make him shudder. If they were found out, there was no telling what could happen to Will, what Chilton might do in retaliation.

He'd probably move Will some place where Matthew wouldn't have access to him; his accommodations would become even worse, and they were bad enough already. No, he wasn't going to put Will through that. He would stay away, at least for now.

But he would find a way out of this situation. He would find some way for Will to be freed, and for the two of them to start a new life together.

It wouldn't be easy, but with enough work, anything was possible.

It was just a bad situation all around, Matthew reflected a few moments later, as he closed his locker and turned to leave the building. Both for Will and for himself.

Somehow, he would manage to find a solution to their problem, he vowed to himself. He would find out for his love, and they would build a life as a couple.

Matthew was smiling as he left the building and headed for home.


	18. That Single Bright Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hope of starting a new life with Matthew is the one thing that keeps Will going when it feels as though the rest of the world has given up on him.

He always hated talking to Chilton.

Will sank back against the wall behind his bunk, closing his eyes as he let his shoulders slump. Finally, he could relax and let the tension drain out of his body.

Talking to Chilton always made him feel tense. It was a dance of words between them, a clash of swords. He could never feel free to say exactly what he meant; Chilton was too close to Hannibal, too ready to believe that Will's greatest enemy was a decent, upstanding citizen.

But maybe, just maybe, Chilton was starting to believe some of the things that Will had told him. He had seen the doubts in the other man's gaze today.

If he kept chipping away at Chilton, maybe he would get through.

Still, that was a chance he shouldn't take, Will told himself, mulling over the things that he'd said to Chilton this morning in their "therapy" session.

He knew that the man hated him; he knew that Chilton would more than likely side with Hannibal no matter what situation they might be in. But at the same time, he _knew_ that he had seen doubts in Chilton's eyes. He knew that Chilton was halfway to believing him.

If he could get Chilton to believe him, then maybe he could talk Jack Crawford around to his way of thining, as well. It was a long shot, but it was his only hope.

But Jack didn't come around any more, Will thought with a pang of fear. Had Jack given up on him, turned his back and left him to rot in this place?

He didn't want to believe that Jack would do that, but Hannibal had drawn the net around Will carefully and skillfully. He had set his traps so well that Will had fallen right into them -- and he had managed to pull the wool over _everyone's_ eyes, not just Jack's.

After all, more than one person had defected from Will's side of the story to Hannibal's, buying everything that monster told her hook, line and sinker.

That was just more proof that he couldn't really trust anyone.

Except for Matthew, Will thought, a smile curving his lips as he thought of his lover. Matthew was the one bright light in all of this, the one person he could trust.

No one else was on his side, not really. His lawyers believed that he was guilty; everyone thought that he was crazy, that he was a psychotic murderer. But Matthew didn't believe that. Matthew knew the truth; Matthew knew that he couldn't have done those horrible things.

Matthew was the only person he could turn to at this point. No one else was on his side; no one else would believe a thing he said. Only Matthew.

He was alone -- except for that single bright light in the darkness.

Matthew was the one thing in his life that gave him purpose now. Well .... there was one other thing that made him want to wake up every morning and go on living.

He wanted revenge. He wanted to expose Hannibal Lecter's evil to the world; he wanted Hannibal to be here in his place, to know what it was like to be hated and reviled, to have his freedom taken away, to feel as helpless as Will did every day that he spent here.

He _would_ have that revenge, Will thought, fists clenching at his sides. He would have it, and when it came, he would absolutely _revel_ in it.

He would come here to see Hannibal in his cage, just to let that bastard know that in the end, he had lost and Will had won. Somehow, he _would_ make it happen.

He didn't know how just yet, but he would see Hannibal behind bars. Though first, he had to get out of here himself, Will thought, sighing again. And he didn't know that was going to be done. It seemed as though Hannibal had had already put a noose around his neck.

Or a needle in his arm, he told himself, shuddering at the thought. He knew that his time was running out; if he couldn't make someone believe him soon, the verdict would be pronounced.

Once that happened, he was as good as dead.

He _had_ to get through to Chilton. That was his only hope, really. He _had_ to make someone in charge believe him, see that Hannibal was the guilty party.

How was he supposed to do that? he asked himself, his fists clenching again, a wave of helplessness mixed with anger washing over him. Hannibal had done such a good job of framing him that it seemed as though he would never be free of this entangling spider's web.

Would Matthew help him find a way out? Will thought of his lover with a stab of longing; he wanted to see Matthew so badly today, to talk to him, to have his reassurance.

Matthew could always make him feel better.

All he had to do was gaze into his lover's eyes, and he would feel renewed. That was all it took. Just seeing what Matthew felt for him reflected in that steady gaze.

If he could make Chilton, and by extension, Jack, believe that Hannibal was the one guilty of all those horrific crimes, then he could get out of here and make a new life with Matthew. They might have to start over in a new place, but he could do that. It would be worth the hassle.

That thought made his heart beat faster, and made hope rise within him. Yes. He just had to convince Chilton, and talk to Jack. He had to find the words that would make them believe.

It might not be easy, but he _would_ do it.

And Matthew would be with him every step of the way.


End file.
